prose

Life is Funny

Life has a funny way of living! It inoculates my mind against all that is good and leaves the hurt to manifest. It is here that I tend to build life, nurture it, help it grow. Bring it out on show for all who live here with their funny way of living. I cage it, anchor it to the ground, give it a personality. People go in, people go out, nobody stays for long. I give this life, that has its funny way of living, the name ‘Enigma’, it’s more stylish, more accepting. It is not until I choose to break free of that funny way of living that I bring forward all that is good. I harness it into a ball of pleasing energy, and it is that energy that I try to hang on to. Now I seek enlightenment. Paths change and a wave of courage takes over. But the familiar funny way of living is too habitual. The push-pull effect against all that is good and all that just hurts begins to beat itself, like waves crashing through the currents. How can I not go back, to that funny way of living? Therein lies the problem! Who am I? How can I be more defined? My actions contradict my feelings. I am not real? I am what my Mother wants me to be, but I have decided I don’t want to stay for that. Then I become what you want me to be and decide that I can’t stay for that either. I have to be what I want to be and all of a sudden I decide that, that is worth sticking around for. All this time I have been nothing but a Thespian putting on a show. The door charge? One peek into your life to see if I can learn anything. I am a life-long scholar of the world. Changes seem sudden, but not to me. I never mind that push-pull effect anymore, I’ve decided that it can stay. It is no longer anchored to the ground. It floats! All in all I think that this funny way of living is pretty damn good and I need to let you know, that it is all thanks to you and your funny way of living.

© Suzi Yammouni